Premarital sex. The Bible and marriage.

Jako narodzona na nowo osoba nie lubię już tego określenia “seks”, ale młodym wiekiem czytelnikom bardziej to uzmysłowi o co w tym wszystkim chodzi jeśli przemówię do nich ich językiem.

Let us take as a starting point one indisputable fact:

Satan's system of media, derogatory religions, culture, entertainment, and politicians cause God's Law to be broken and reversed.

We are currently living in the age of the inverted decalogue.

 

I took up this topic because a few weeks ago a dispute arose on the blog about it. I said rightly as I usually say (version for those who don't like me 🙂 ), or explained on the basis of my knowledge (version for those who like me :-)), that in the Bible there is no such mention, prohibition, order forbidding intercourse before marriage. Not because I think so, but because I could not find it.

Scripture, on the other hand, explains Scripture, and just as with the example of smoking cigarettes, although there is no prohibition against smoking cigarettes in the Bible, that does not mean we can smoke them. The prohibition is found in Corinthians.

 

"I'm allowed everything, but not everything is beneficial. I'm allowed everything, ale ja niczemu nie oddam się w niewolę” 1 Kor

 

 

Paul just has it in him to help us understand many aspects of our lives. We don't find that in John or Matthew. Paul as a super expert in Torah regulated our lives.

 

If we are exploring the topic of cohabitation before marriage, then we must also explore the concept of marriage and marriage.

 

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Jedna z hipotez omawiających etymologię słowa “małżeństwo” w języku polskim wskazuje, że wywodzi się od słowa spouse, more specifically, from the previously used word spouse importance “żona pojęta uroczyście na mal”, w którym mal- wywodzi się od starogermańskiego māl lub mahal oznaczającego “umowę, kontrakt”. Drugi człon – žona – ma już charakter słowiański. Polszczyzna przejęła wyraz spouse probably in the second half of the 14th century from Old Bohemian - malženka, diminutive of malženaczyli “ślubna żona”. Z pierwszej połowy XVI wieku pochodzą dokumenty używające słowa spouse (Occasionally: spouse) formed from the lexemespouse. In contrast, the word marriage appears earlier, already in the first half of the 15th century, probably following the example of the Old Bohemian malženstvo. Another hypothesis assumes that the etymological basis of the word in question was an Old High German lexeme ge-mahelo (currently gemahl) - spouse, przejęty przez Słowian bez nagłosowego ge-.” wikipedia

 

So in our culture spouse means a wife solemnly married during a contract such as a wedding. So we see that for thousands of years (Israel's history), despite the lack of bureaucracy, marriage was a contract.

Some astute person will now say: well, yes, and to Adam and Eve who gave the wedding?

First, Adam and Eve were the first humans and their witness, priest and parent was God the Father Himself. Secondly, God introduced His laws gradually based on the formation of His people. Krakow was not built right away. The foundation of the Law was given only to Moses.

So what does the Bible say about premarital sex?

Nie zabrania, ale…

 

(15) If one has seduced a virgin not yet engaged and has intercourse with her, he shall pay the fee paid at the nuptials to the family and take her as his wife.

(Exodus 22:15

For intercourse before marriage, a man was obligated to pay 50 shekels to the father of the bride. Nowadays, probably about 90% men would have to pay the equivalent of 50 shekels to the fathers of the bride, but the vast majority of fathers do not care about the state of their daughter's virginity. This used to be given enormous importance. Today's fathers are absent.

 

What are the implications of this?

Two important points:

1. Breaking chastity before marriage was frowned upon.
2. Cohabitation (sex today) equaled marriage.

http://detektywprawdy.pl/2016/03/02/seks-to-malzenstwo/

 

 

The love of the bride and groom is a love that implies exclusivity - unlike, for example, Solomon's many marriages: Sixty are the queens and the midwives eighty, and the girls without number, [but] the only one is my dove, my undefiled one, the only one for her mother, the chosen one of her mother. The girls admire her and call her happy, the queens and concubines praise her". (Prnp 6:8-9; cf. 8:11-12).

 

There is a reference here to scaling. Synonyms for this word are:

 

1. to inflict dishonor, to defame, to defile, to defile, to defile, to defile, to stain, to defile, to stain, to trample, to profane, to deface, to tarnish, to tarnish, to deface, to bring shame upon, to bring disgrace upon

 

So for many thousands of years, up to Before the sexual revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s, premarital chastity was the standard, and any deviation was an aberration.

 

Poza pięknym utworem lirycznym jakim są “Pieśni nad pieśniami”,  w apokalipsie jest pokazany stosunek Oblubieńca do oblubienicy.

 

23) And the light of the lamp shall shine in you no more. And the voice of the bridegroom and betrothedy już w tobie się nie usłyszy: bo kupcy twoi byli możnowładcami na ziemi, bo twymi czarami omamione zostały wszystkie narody –

 I Miasto Święte – Jeruzalem Nowe ujrzałem zstępujące z nieba od Boga, przystrojone jak betrotheda Adorned with jewels for her husband.

(9) And there came one of the seven angels, which hold the seven bowls full of the seven final plagues, and he spoke to me thus: Come, I will show you Bridesę, Spouse Lamb.

(Revelation 21:9,

 

(17) A Spirit and Bridesa they say: Come! And he who hears, let him say, Come! And whoever is thirsty, let him come; whoever wants, let him draw the water of life freely.
(Revelation 22:17

 

 

Nowadays there is a fashion for the so-called concubinage. What is it?

 

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Konkubinat (łac. concubinatus od com- ‘współ-‘ i cubare ‘leżeć’) [1], kohabitacja – nieformalny związek dwóch osób, pozostających w pożyciu, bez usankcjonowania w świetle prawa jako małżeństwa.”

 

A man or woman co-marries next to each other. Without marriage, you are co-married 🙂 .

 

 

Now we live in such times that the average 30 year old woman may have already had a minimum of several partners before marriage. So how can there be any talk of pre-marital purity?

But there is one scowl that mostly teaching Christians refuse to notice:

In Christ we are a new creation. With repentance and then baptism, all our sins are blotted out. We are given new life. So a born again Christian woman becomes a virgin again and a man becomes a virgin. This is also true for those born again during a broken pagan relationship or after a divorce.

If new life then sanctification too.

1 Peter 1

" But in all your conduct become ye also saints after the example of the Holy One who called you, 16 gdyż jest napisane: Świętymi bądźcie, bo Ja jestem święty”

 

As I mentioned before, in Jewish tradition a man was obliged to pay 50 shekels to the bride's father for cohabitation before marriage. Such a woman was called seduced. However, it was not a sin if it could be compensated to the father.

“Wniosek: seks przedmałżeński nie był karany, ale dziewictwo miało wartość, za którą płacił mężczyzna (spowodowane to było faktem, że ojciec pozbawionej dziewictwa dziewczyny musiał  dać jej większy posag). Zarówno w przypadku obopólnej zgody na seks, jak i gwałtu, suma ta była jednakowa: 50 szekli.”

 

Now there are sometimes churches that do not give marriage for pre-marital sex. I think the pastors are somewhat right, considering that many people are not aware of their decisions. What happens if intercourse is taken too soon, when you haven't gotten to know your partner(s) enough yet? I'm sorry if I made a mistake?

This is where marriage sort of regulates everything leading to accountability. Cohabitation before marriage leads to having an exit door. There is no commitment, no obligation, I can leave if I want to. Until you marry your partner you are not sure if he or she will be your spouse.

After marriage you can also leave but it is not so easy anymore.

Why did Jesus say nothing about prohibiting intercourse before marriage? The answer, as usual, will be found in the Torah:

 

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“Wyprowadzą młodą kobietę do drzwi domu ojca i kamienować ją będą mężowie tego miasta, aż umrze, bo dopuściła się bezeceństwa w Izraelu, uprawiając rozpustę w domu ojca. Usuniesz zło spośród siebie” (Pwt 22, 21).

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The reference here is to women who, as it turned out, were not virgins after their wedding night. Jesus knew the Torah very well.

 

It says:

 

“Mąż niech oddaje powinność żonie, podobnie też żona mężowi. ⁴ The wife does not dispose of her own body, but her husband; likewise the husband does not dispose of his own body, but the wife. ⁵ Nie unikajcie jedno drugiego, chyba że na pewien czas, za obopólną zgodą, by oddać się modlitwie; potem znów wróćcie do siebie, aby – wskutek niewstrzemięźliwości waszej – nie kusił was szatan. ⁶ To, co mówię, pochodzi z wyrozumiałości, a nie z nakazu. ” 1 Kor 7

In addition to the suggestion of relatively frequent intercourse, Paul is clear about who is to dispose of the body of the man and the woman: the wife and the husband.

Unmarried people were not referred to as husband and wife.

 

In light of these considerations, I believe that people who claim to be Christians and are currently living together before marriage should get married. If you are at the stage of engagement, however, in spite of the strong lust of the flesh, I would advise you to keep chastity until marriage. Keep it something just for you, so that intercourse is like wine, which is more enjoyable the more mature it is.

 

Nowadays, everything is mixed up and the mere fact of leaving the home of children to engage in cohabitation sort of creates a marriage:

 

5 And he said: Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they shall both be one flesh.

6 And so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

Matthew 19

As we can see Matthew was quoting the Old Testament.

Leaving one's mother and father to be with one's partner is tantamount to marriage, although this is only regulated by marriage.

Husband and wife take full responsibility for each other. It can only be full when they separate themselves from their mother and father. They are to love each other with full devotion and sacrifice, just as Christ loved the Church. To the end. Until death. The husband is to be head of the familywhich means to give her all the help she needs. To respond to her needs, to help her. A woman, in response to such love, can respond with her own love, respectful towards her husband.

http://www.chn.kz.pl/index.php/teksty/item/seks-przed-lubem

 

Even just being engaged changed a lot about the perception of the relationship:

 

"23) If a girl, a virgin, engaged to a man, encounters another man in the city and joins her, (24) then you shall bring them both out to the gate of this city and stone them, and they shall suffer death; the girl for not crying out for help in the city, and the man for insulting his neighbor's wife. You will exterminate this evil from among you. "

 

A woman who is engaged is like a half-married woman. The above quote shows how much importance engagement had.

 

Some go even further saying that there is no such thing as premarital sex. They say there is only extramarital, but:

 

Adultery as defined by the Torah occurs when a man has sexual intercourse with a woman who is married to another man:

“jeIf a man commits adultery with another man's wife, with his neighbor's wife, [then both the adulterer and the adulteress] must suffer death“”

 

 

 

(13) So Booz married Ruth and she became his wife.

(Ruth 4:13,

 

In Syracuse we read about relationships like this:

 

(24) He who gets a wife has the beginning of prosperity, a help like himself and a pillar of support. (25) Where there is no fence, they tear up the property, and where the wife is missing, there the husband sighs stray. (26) Who will trust a bunch of soldiers going from town to town? (27) Tak samo – człowiekowi, który nie ma gniazda i zatrzymuje się tam, gdzie go mrok zastanie.  syr 36

In the Septuagint, the beginning reads as follows:

“kto wybrał sobie żonę, położył fundament majętności,

zyskał pomocnika równego sobie, filar spokoju”

 

 

For some I will probably be too radical in this assessment, while for others too liberal. However, I do not run this blog to please anyone. One of the reasons why I blog is to make sure that people's lives are in line with God's Law, and therefore full of blessings, because the absence of sin is in itself a blessing.