I am writing this because I feel obligated to do so as a Christian blogger and an organizer of Christian conventions. I may expose myself to others, but I am not seeking good relationships with others but the truth and the Law of God.
There is a scene in the movie "Poranek kojota" when Brylant (Michał Milowicz) meets Max (Jarek Jakimowicz) in the cinema. They both have girlfriends, but Brylant is "going out" with an unattractive Dominika who looks like a sick person. Brylant explains to Max about this not-so-smart girl, saying that nowadays it is such a fashion to take care of the sick...
The Internet has it that everyone chooses what they want from God's Law, and thus for many there is also the fashion of christianism.. Kind of like that lifestyle of beliefs, but only the beliefs that fit our lifestyle.
Let us also clarify at the outset whether the bible anywhere speaks of the necessity of marriage. But before we do that, let me use the slogan of lukewarm Christians, or non-Christians: does the bible say anywhere that smoking marijuana is prohibited? Well, it doesn't. It says nothing of the sort anywhere, and the same is true of marriage. There is no such commandment, which gives many a gateway to cohabitation.
The Bible first reports marriage when describing the life of Abraham (Genesis 25:1).
Probably before, vows were simply pledges, or even maybe just a decision to live together.
Interestingly, about 90% of the vows in the Torah concerned vows to God.
According to my cognition marriage is necessary, although I am aware of the functioning of very successful cohabitation. Generally cohabitation secures the man more than the woman and not only because of the finances, but also because of the change in the woman's psyche, because very often after marriage women become worse than they were during their engagement, because they already have "dibs" on the man. This uncertainty in cohabitation causes a woman to try harder not to remain alone. We are talking here about stable women, not about those who change men like gloves. This description applies mainly to the unborn again. Those born of the Spirit of God will take care of their partner before and after marriage. However, Christianity through bad teaching dilutes the group of believers and people who do not obey God are also called Christians.
Why did I take up such a topic?
A few days ago I received a call from Robert, who baptized a man a year ago. The man sought Robert's counsel concerning his situation as a partner. Robert's diagnosis, and later mine, was unequivocal: serious sin and trampling on the blood of Jesus.
With permission I post an unnamed account of the life of this man notabene baptized. For the purpose of this text I will give him the name Paul.
Paul met a woman about 9 years ago without marrying her. They have two children together. About a year ago Paul's partner left him when he was already supposedly born again. Ok, she could, she had that right according to the Bible:
“(16) And how do you know, wife, that you will save your husband? Or are you sure, husband, that you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:16″
Opinions are divided as to the remarriage of Christians. Interestingly, the leader of Polish Baptists Mateusz Wichary shares this opinion with the Roman church, which forbids such unions for Christians.
For those interested in the subject, I recommend a book by the great conservative pastor Michale Perl: "Marriage after Divorce", which has a different perspective than Christian bigots. The extremely conservative pastor explains everything in black and white how it really looks like. However, his book on raising children was withdrawn from sale in Poland because of its too strict approach. Despite that he has a different view on remarriage.
Back to Paul's plight. When his partner, with whom he has two children, left him he met a Christian woman. At least that is how he perceived her and she perceived herself. He also cohabited with her without being married. And she left him. I'm leaving out her Christianity because I don't know her, I don't know what quality. . Paul being a lover met another woman with whom he had intercourse... This is still not such a drama. It turns out that this new partner has a..... husband. I called Paul and told him to immediately break off this relationship until God shows him up, because punishment is surely in the air according to the Scriptures:
"For if, having received the knowledge of the truth, we deliberately sin, there is no longer for us a sacrifice for sins, but only the dreadful expectation of judgment and the heat of the fire that will consume the adversaries. He who breaks the Law of Moses will suffer death without mercy on the basis of the testimony of two or three witnesses; how much more severe a punishment, do you think, will be worthy of him who tramples on the Son of God and defiles the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and insults the Spirit of grace! For we know him who said, Vengeance is mine, I will repay; and: The Lord shall judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Hebrews 10:26-31)
What is still remarkable in the testimony described is the remorse. Since it has begun to work, it means that things are not so bad after all.
I warned Paul. He said to me: "Peter, I have something else to confess to you". Weakened by his testimony I asked "what else is there".
He replied: "God has already punished me".
Me: "what happened"
He: "my 'vehicle' was stolen (I won't write what).
The stolen vehicle was worth 150K and uninsured.
I said that he was lucky that was all he had and that he should immediately break off his acquaintance with this married woman.
He says: but I love her and she wants to leave her husband.
I replied to him that love is not butterflies in the stomach but a lifelong decision for better or for worse.
He listened to me and broke up with her.
What are the lessons learned from this?
People who call themselves Christians pick and choose whatever they want from Scripture. Paul also has other ongoing sins. They are the ones that drove him to the sin of adultery. Sin drives sin. Hence the Lord Jesus raised the bar "everyone who hates his brother...".
A wedding does not guarantee the stability of a marriage, but because of more formalities it is not so easy to leave. Recently Ewuś from Warsaw sent me a pastor's video about marriage stability. It was a very wise lecture. The pastor said that he knew a case when a girl and a boy were together for 12 years. After these 12 years they got married and after a few months.... divorce. So it has nothing to do with getting to know the other person before marriage, because in another example he said that after three months of getting to know each other another couple got married and they are still happily married today. He also said an important thing: God's presence does not guarantee a lasting marriage. People think that if they are Christians, God will only bless them. This is deception. God expects us to work and cross.
Paul's other girlfriend being at his baptism deceived herself that she was a Christian because she either should not cohabit with Paul or get married.
Despite being a man of God, David was punished in a very painful way for his adultery and death: the loss of his child...
""I find that God really there is no consideration for persons. 35 But in every nation it is pleasing to Him who fears Him and acts righteously." Acts
Paul is a victim of himself and picking out what suited him from the Bible. Otherwise he would not have entered into a relationship with a married woman. There is no need to pick on him. But let's look at our own beams.
God yesterday and today the same. Liars who say that God's Law does not apply lead people to sin and condemnation.
Let's look at how it looked in the Old Testament:
Deuteronomy 22
If you find a man joined to a married woman, then they will both die; both this man, joined to a married woman, and this woman. You shall exterminate this evil from Israel. (23) If a girl, a virgin, engaged to a man, encounters another man in the city and joins her, (24) then you shall bring them both out to the gate of this city and stone them, and they shall suffer death; the girl for not crying out for help in the city, and the man for insulting his neighbor's wife. You shall exterminate this evil from among you.
What does it look like today? One is no longer stoned, but it is God who executes the punishment.
“”It's scary a thing to fall into the hands of God live." Heb 10: 31″
That 150,000 is nothing...that happened to Paul.It could have been worse.
However, on this occasion, you may say something to yourself that will illuminate your perception of the Law. Well: under the law of liberty are ONLY those persons who do not sin such sins. Others live under the law of sin and death.
So I suggested to Paul a strong repentance, for I will repeat myself once again:
"Terrible it is. a thing to fall into the hands of God alive." Heb 10: 31″
It shatters the image of a sweet Jesus...with cheap grace.
As I mentioned, there is no direct command to marry in the Bible. But the Lord Jesus was at the wedding at Cana.
Below are passages that suggest the need for marriage:
and the marriage relationship illustrates Christ's ongoing relationship with the church in the Father's house (Ephesians 5:22-32).
"[...] then John's disciples came to him and asked: Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast? (15) And Jesus said to them, Can they wedding guests grieve, as long as the bridegroom is with them?" (Matthew 9:14-15a).
"[...] and when they had gone away to buy, the bridegroom came and those that were ready, entered the wedding with him And the door was shut ..." (Matthew 25:10).
"[...] and Jesus said unto them, Can they wedding guests fast when the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. (20) But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then, on that day, they will fast" (Mark 2:19-20).
"[...] and Jesus said to them: Can you make wedding attendees, as long as the bridegroom is with them, do they fast? (35) But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them; then they will fast" (Luke 5:34-35)
"[...] similar is the kingdom of heaven to a certain king who made a wedding to his son . (3) And he sent his servants to call the invitees for the wedding, (3) But these refused to come. (4) Again he sent other servants, saying, Tell the invitees: Behold, I have prepared my feast; my oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, and everything is ready, go to the wedding" (Matthew 22:2-4).
"[...] and I heard as it were the voice of a numerous multitude, and as it were the noise of many waters, and as it were the rumble of mighty thunders that said: Alleluia! Behold, the Lord our God, the Almighty, has taken dominion. (7) Let us rejoice and be glad, and give glory to him, for the wedding of the Lamb has taken place, and his bride made herself ready [...]" (Revelation 19:6-7).
Just as giving your life to Jesus is not a formula but a decision, so too is marriage a decision. Religious people think that just living together without marriage is adultery. I find no such information in the Bible.
I don't get into the first two relationships. I am not a religious man. Who and how, whose fault. But being a Christian while committing adultery is a grave sin.
I post this testimony not to condemn anyone, but to show the mechanism of self-knowledge.
Part of the problem in modern relationships is that parents used to be the ones who chose partners or had a lot of influence. Today, young people drunk with Satan's lies reduce love to sex.
As we see also baptism accomplishes nothing if there is no conversion from sin. The churches are filled with haters.
I for one believe that since Paul broke that acquaintance, the Lord Jesus will help him in the process of sanctification.
English 
Polish
You tell it like it is. I've experienced it on myself. I am living in a repeat relationship. We have a daughter and if it wasn't for her I would have ended the relationship long ago. I have no return to my wife, our love was not real and I feel nothing for her in reciprocation. I have hurt my two children and myself. I pray that God will one day forgive me for this.
people really don't realize the broken times we live in. The poison is already in the home, in the church, on tv.
God knows very well what time period we are living in.
You say you have no feelings for each other. Love is not feelings, but respect, caring. If you have a daughter in a new relationship, then you should in my opinion be in that relationship for your daughter and show your wife that your faith has a pragmatic dimension. I.e. that you can show her love, but not by saying I love you, but in being good to her.
What does "someday" mean?
Very good title.
I am ashamed to admit that I once sinned (carnally) knowingly and in cold blood. I sinned in spite of knowing.
In return, God showed me what it would be like for me...hell. A horrible and terrifying experience.
Very good topic, very well described.
In these pseudo-diplomatic times, there are few people who dare to write about God's punishment for evil deeds while still on this earth. God loves us but is just, an offense against an innocent neighbor is often severely punished.
Once I saw how an evil woman (she did a lot of harm) laughed at her sister-in-law and teased her that she had a lame arm from birth, after some time she gave birth to a desired son who was born with the same birth defect. God punishing us gives us a chance to straighten our paths, it shows God's love and fight for our souls. I know many more such examples of God's punishment that I witnessed, each one of us known.
Humility before God is the key to the gates of God's grace.
Good commentary...
Such a good commentary and we should write more often about such examples as Matryoshka so that people get to know this side of God which is not accepted by Christians
Sex without marriage is a rozputsa.
2″ However, due to the DANGER of debauchery,
Let each man have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." (1 Cor 7.2)
-without marriage all is debauchery, fornication, porneia-gr., and no fornicator shall enter the King of God.
A wedding is a message to the community that these people are with each other forever and that others are not allowed to leave them.
If the punishment was for adultery, then everyone knew that they were married, and they knew how?
God speaks of illegitimate children, the Lord Jesus was said to be of debauchery.
Hebrews 13.4, 1 Corinthians 7.38 - there must be a wedding according to the ceremonies of a particular group in order for others to know.
good complementary commentary
There is an instruction: and a man will leave his father and mother-the decision to separate from his family to join with someone else.
a decision, not quick sex, and tomorrow we split up.
There is a lack of teaching on marriage, on the essence of marriage, practical information, etc., to prepare young people for this decision, because most are rash.
A big role for wise parents and their own example in marriage for children.
The word CONCUBINATE is the word of the world, which means we know whose.
We have the word marriage .
Concubinage is such a beautiful word for fornication, just as abortion is for murder, euthanasia is the height of verbal elegance, it almost sounds like poetry, there are no thieves but kleptomaniacs..., there are no husbands but a beautiful word that says nothing homo...
And what a beautiful word evolution, how scientific it sounds...
A child from an illegitimate bed. That means there is a righteous bed, according to the LAW OF GOD, there is a law establishing a righteous bed and it must be followed. Everything is to be public, legal. Ephesians 5.14-all that is revealed is light, no sexual oaths...
Tom wrote.
I would still add the official asking of the father for his daughter's hand. Secret cohabitation or abduction, running away with the girl was a reason for the parent's revenge. The order should be preserved. When the parents agreed, there were already witnesses for the nuptials. And the wedding, as the name suggests, was a reason for people to rejoice, be merry and have fun because a new body appeared in the community.
My fiancé and I had intercourse once after we were baptized and after that we decided to wait until we were married so as not to sin before God. Even though, as you say, there is no prohibition against having sex before marriage, our consciences have condemned us for it. That is why we abstain and it is going very well 🙂 .
I've heard about this from several couples of God. They themselves have decided to stop cohabitation for conscience' sake....
Christians, being converted, cannot just have sex, for me, if they do, it is a wedding. It doesn't have to be a ceremony. It's not the world, it's Christianity.