An extended analysis of the book on The Wise Wife. The text is also by Joan. Thank you in Jesus' name. In view of yesterday's reader's question "where are the wise wives" I would like to add by way of introduction that this type of texts, instructions are not to lead someone down, but to show that being born again we have to work on ourselves until the end of our lives. Jesus came to the sick, not to the healthy, and this means no less than working on our weaknesses. Work on our FAILURES.
What better way to evangelize than with your behavior, with your testimony? This applies to both genders. Perhaps soon I will summarize the book in a version for men.
Think how much more you will convince your husbands and wives by respecting them, by loving them, by being resistant to their bad and uncultured behavior? How much more will we convince our loved ones by caring for them, supporting them, keeping their spirits up?
Many think that faith is only about election forgetting the cross and humbling themselves.
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I believe that every Christian woman who is a wife or wants to become one should look at the picture of the role of a wife that emerges from God's Word. I know from personal experience that a proper understanding of this subject completely changes one's thinking and attitude, setting a woman on the right track that God wants us to be on so that we can bear good fruit in our relationships. A correct view of a woman's role as a wife greatly helps to mend relationships in a relationship and open your heart even more to that other person. God's will is that we love one another. Showing love to our neighbor begins with those around us, first with our families, our husbands and children.
The following text addresses only a substitute for the above topic. It is based on two books that explore this issue in depth:
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"More precious than pearls" Gary L. Thomas
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"The woman your husband wants" Debi Pearl
I highly recommend these two books for any woman who wants to better understand the nature of a man and the role of a wife in a marriage according to God's Word. In order for your marriage to be good and happy and for you to be fulfilled, you must first have a good understanding of God's plan for your wife, and remember that the transformation of your marriage begins with you, your thinking, your heart, and your actions toward your husband.
There is also a book for men on the role of the husband:
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"The man your wife wants" Michael Pearl
Bible speaks of eight things that God requires of wives "That the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5):
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Be sober: do your duty, be temperate, self-controlled, prudent; learn to make wise decisions and make wise judgments.
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To love your husbandTo love him is to put his needs before your own. As a wife you have a ministry to your husband, and only then to your children. You were created and exist to be a help to your husband first, and then to your children.
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Love your childrenThe most important thing a mother can do for her children is to create an atmosphere of peace and joy for them. She will only do this if she strongly loves and respects their father, if she herself is content with life. She gets involved in her children's lives, spends time with them creatively, and forms a strong bond with them based on love and trust.
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To be prudent: prudent, sensible; wisely avoid mistakes and choose appropriate means to achieve a desired end; be reserved, courteous, polite, honest, sincere in interpersonal relationships.
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Be clean: pure in thought, speech, and deed; innocent, modest, and respectable in all things; modest in appearance.
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Take care of the house: guardian of the home hearth, hospitable, cares for the home; makes proper use of her time at home, making it a clean and pleasant refuge for all household members.
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Be good: sincere, cheerful, virtuous, valuable, competent, clever, courteous, kind, merciful, active, industrious, helpful, pleasant, pleasant to deal with, amiable, honorable, faithful, gracious, wise, generous, good doer.
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Be obedient to your husband: helpful, submissive, ready and willing to obey commands and desires, to refrain from what is forbidden.
Let's take a closer look at the last issue. But from the beginning...
The right help for the man
God gave Adam the most precious gift a man can receive - a woman.
"Then the Lord God said: It is not good for a man to be alone; therefore I will make suitable help for him." (Genesis 2:18)
And then God "he brought her to the man." (Romans 2:22)
"He who has found a wife - good has been found and has gained favor with the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22)
God says it is not good for a man to be alone, and the answer to his needs is a wife, called goodness. Furthermore, a man finds favor with the Lord by finding a wife.
Remember that God loves women absolutely as much as He loves men.
If you are a wife, understand that you were created to fulfill this plan, and with the aptitude proper to women, you are capable of fulfilling it. You are an asset, you are a help to a man's needs and deficiencies, you are his complement. This is how God created you and this is the meaning of your existence. You are naturally equipped with everything you need to be a help and support to your husband. Some people think that this auxiliary role means that women were created as servants for men. However, the Hebrew word translated as "help" is ezer (The Bible uses this word in the context of the support God Himself gives to a person.) It describes someone who surrounds, protects, and helps. This is not a servant role, but rather a very important role, one of helping someone who needs help. When God created woman to be like Him in helping man, He assigned her a role that was respectful, not demeaning or servile. He recognized that a man would need a woman but that does not mean that she is to take an inferior position. A woman is not made inferior by being a companion to a man, and a man is not made weaker by needing a woman.
You may be thinking that your husband doesn't deserve you to be his help. But who says anything about deserving? You can only be fulfilled as a woman if you act according to your nature. If you take on a leadership role in the family, you are not making God, yourself, or your husband happy. You are working against yourself and against God's will. The crux of the matter is not whether you are better at the task than your husband, but that you do what your Creator "designed" you to do.
The ideal support person is one who does not require the list of ongoing responsibilities that children usually require. Her desire to please motivates her to look around and notice things that she knows her husband would be pleased to see done. She does not invent excuses for not doing them. If the wife becomes such a help, the husband will know he has found a wonderful woman. Our job is to learn how we can help our husbands in any way we can.
A good wife will have a desire to be useful to her husband.
Obedience to your husband
According to the Supreme decree, cultural context aside, it is in a woman's nature to focus all her attention and interest on her husband, and she is to be subject to his authority. This is God's will, regardless of what feminists and the modern world preach to the contrary.
"I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and man is the head of woman, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3)
No cultural context can invalidate this verse because it says that the foundation of male leadership is rooted in the very essence of the feminine nature. Just as God is the head of Christ and Christ is the head of man, so a man is the head of a woman (his wife). The husband loses none of his dignity by being subject to Christ, nor does the wife lose her dignity by being subject to her husband. In this hierarchy, everyone will find a sense of meaning and security by submitting to their head.
"Let wives be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church: he the Savior of the body. But as the Church is subject to Christ, so are wives to their husbands - in all things." (Eph 5:22-24)
We should look at our submission to our husbands with as much love and zeal as our submission to Christ and love for Him. The Bible says that wives are to be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, as if they were submitting to the Lord.
Since the husband's authority is entrusted to him by God, by submitting to her husband, the wife recognizes God's authority, so she really submits to God.
That is, wives who obey their husbands are thereby obeying God.
This is the proper attitude for a Christian woman who wants to live according to God's command.
Our subordination to our own husbands does not originate in the superiority of man over woman. God has not established one gender higher than the other in the hierarchy.
God exhorts wives to obey even their husbands who are not believers and do not follow Christ. God reveals in His Word a plan for the wife on how she is to win her lost husband for Christ through her holy conduct.
"In the same way, let wives be subject to their husbands, so that even when some of them do not listen to the doctrine, by the very conduct of their wives they will be won over without doctrine when they look to your fear-filled, holy conduct. Let their adornment be not that which is external: the combing of the hair and the gold rings or the dressing in gowns, but the interior of a man's heart with an inviolable calmness and gentleness of spirit, which is so precious before God. For so also of old the holy women who hoped in God adorned themselves, and were subject to their husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master. You have become her children, because you do well and do not fear no intimidation." (1P 3, 1-6)
Most women spend their entire married life in conflict with their own husbands, trying to change them. It is a duel of willpower that no woman ever really wins, because even if she manages to get him to obey, she loses his love and he then loses his self-respect.
While women, tend to reduce all issues to who is right, God points authoritatively to the true essence of who He has established as the leader and who He has created to be His help. When a woman resists a man or tries to change him, he becomes even more stubborn and her own heart fills with bitterness. If a woman obeys God, a man has nothing to oppose or resist, nothing to conquer or overcome or dominate.
A woman's greatest strength lies in obedience to God,
expressed by obedience and respect to her own husband.
When it departs from God's order, it creates a life of confusion, bitterness, and disaster - for both spouses.
In closing, a quote from "The woman your husband wants":
"When a girl suddenly realizes that she's already hooked up for good with a man who isn't what she thinks he should be, usually instead of adjusting to him, she spends the rest of their married life - which may not be very long - trying to change him to become what her man should be. Most girls make the horrible discovery soon after marriage that they may have been made a fool. Instead of lamenting their fate, they should ask God for wisdom. Wisdom is knowing what you got when you married that man and learning to adjust to him as he is, not as you would like him to be. Men are not all the same. Your husband will most likely not be like your dad, your brother, or the hero of your favorite novel. Our husbands are made in God's image, but it would take all types of men put together to at least roughly complete the picture. No man has all these qualities in perfect proportion. If he had, he would be too perfect to need you. God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so that they can be co-heirs of the grace of life and become more together than either of them could ever be alone. If you fight your husband's imperfections or try to dominate where he can't, you will both lose. If you love him and truly support him with his imperfections and without taking over, you will both grow and lead successful lives."
English 
Polish
And I have been wondering for some time now - could Jesus have had a wife? Of course, the main "candidate" is Mary Magdalene, but the question is not who she was or what her name was, but whether there was even a woman who was Jesus on Earth, because as far as I know, Jewish law forbade celibacy.
Jesus' wife is His bride, the church, the assembly of people obedient to the Word.
First Jesus died for His bride, and then He wants her to obey Him.
You, Kesja, demand parity. This is Satanism... That is, I will not change until my husband changes and the circle closes. Don't preach heresy to God, woman, because you're rebelling against others.
If you're not nice to me, I won't be nice to you either. That's sick.
I am a newborn, my husband is a catholic and for some time now I have been thinking about this verse 1P3 ..Wives are to be subject in all things does this mean that:
_ on Sunday I'm supposed to go to church with my husband
- instead of celebrating the Sabbath, go to the cemetery?
- to celebrate Catholic holidays ?
Am I understanding this correctly?
in everything that does not violate the Law of God, for God is above husband
I understand:) Thank you for your answer:)
But you probably had to work hard for that text...bravo!
I'm going to print out these 8 things and read them every morning 🙂
Beautifully written, makes me want to be that wife! Thank you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Point 2 and 8 too? A loving husband will not allow his wife to be made a "wish fulfillment" and put him above the children, but not everyone is like that, and according to this text a woman cannot rebel, even against a husband who is not loving, good.
From this text it follows that women, young mothers of infants, small children, complaining about being tired a lot when it comes to the baby, the husband's lack of understanding and his expectations that everything will stay the same (e.g. the wife will still have time and desire for sex) have NO right to complain. If the husband has cravings, then the baby should be dropped off at grandparents, weaned and left with the husband to a SPA for example and fulfill his desires, because he wants his wife for himself and the husband is more important than the child....
Another great and very timely text and topic. Today hardly anyone raises these issues because we have political correctness and you can't offend feminists that grow like mushrooms after rain. Besides, there is equality, ecumenism and everyone is up to everything that means nothing 🙂
Women are equal to men and have the same or more important roles in marriage the world tells us. Hence the divorce statistics are getting higher every year. "Because we didn't get along" people say. We didn't. Because you didn't match the Words of God into your marriage....
Peter, you posted a great interview on the blog some time ago to which I will remind you of the link:
http://detektywprawdy.pl/2015/11/13/sekret-udanego-malzenstwa/
And where is it written in the Bible that it is more important to love your husband than to love your children?
I, for one, disagree with many things in this human text. The person who wrote it sees the world in some simplistic way. A guide husband, the head of the family, self-confident, with a vision, a plan, leads the family, gives it a sense of security, protects, guides? Do you really have such people around you? I do not. I know a lot of men who are withdrawn, who look for female leaders, who willingly give up their authority at home to women. I also know quite a few marriages where the woman earns, more, has a better professional position. I understand that according to the author something like partnership is bad? What is a woman supposed to do if she earns more because it worked out that way, such are the times? What is a woman to do if her husband's weakness is a lack of strength, willingness, and aptitude for leadership? And what if her husband's weakness is profligacy? He insists on taking risky loans in order to live beyond his means and endanger his family, and the woman has no right to object because she must obey? And what if, once again, debts make you lack for vacations for the children or for clothes? Life, the world is more complicated than some people think. Should we not change husbands? Oh... and what if someone is a slacker, whose mommy is always taking care of him? Should we humbly put up with it? Because God wants it that way? In many cases it is possible to change husbands (and wives too), to teach them to clean and take care of the house. According to the author, even if the husband and wife work, does the husband fall on the couch when he gets home and the wife serves him? Of course, I'm not even touching on typical pathologies here, like violence, addictions, infidelity.
zuza, you can disagree. You have every right to do so.
Without taking sides, I would like to point out that in male-female relationships everything depends on the situation.
Today, many of the men are Ahab. On the other hand, many women are Jezebel.
The man in the biblical model is to love and respect his wife, but he is responsible for her before God. Therefore the wife is to be submissive.
The closer to God, the closer to truth and love.
River topic
To be clear, I'm personally more comfortable with a model where the woman takes care of the children, the home, the husband provides the livelihood, is the mainstay, and the wife supports her husband. I am not a crazy feminist. The model described above worked well in my family, but we were probably lucky. I'm lucky too, but I realize that it's more the exception than the rule and in many families it can be bad 🙁 Another thing is that the role of a man, a husband, a father, in the modern world is difficult if one wants to keep up, "give advice". I have the impression that even the most liberated women like/want to hide behind a man sometimes, although they don't admit it out loud. Women often have exaggerated, contradictory demands, they would like a tough alpha male, but at the same time gentle, so that he earns, but still so that she is on top. Sensitive, but it's nice "as if he gave some bastard a slap". He has to fight dragons, but know how to lull a child. Change the wheel, build a house, gazebo, but dress like a model.
In a loving family, in my opinion, it looks like this (using the last serving of a treat as an example):
- parents unanimously leave it to the child, because the child is most important to them, together they want the best for him
- if by chance there is a second morsel, the wife says to her husband "you eat it" and pretends she doesn't want it, and the husband does exactly the same, the good of the other above his own
The most important thing is Jesus, and the rest will work itself out according to God's plan 🙂
Greetings
I feel sorry for people who believe in this faith. Most of all, a woman. She's supposed to be submissive, obedient and helpful. And it boils inside me. A woman is able to do what a man says she is no worse, and then you say she has to obey and clean up. That's why I became an atheist, because according to your vision I should clean, serve and sit quietly, and that's definitely not what I'm going to do.
The Bible says no such thing. You live by slogans without researching the subject and that is the case with most atheists.
(1): Beloved, I am already writing to you this second letter. In them I stimulate your pure mind by reminding you; (2): That you may remember the words previously spoken by the holy prophets, and the commandment from us who are apostles of the Lord and Savior. (3): Above all this know ye, that in the last days shall come scoffers, who shall walk according to their own lusts; (4): And they shall say, What of the promise of his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation. (5): For this they WILL NOT KNOW, that the heavens were from of old, and the earth of water, and in the water stood by the word of God; (6): By which the world at that time, being flooded with water, perished. [Modernised Danzig Bible, 2p 3].
"That's why I became an atheist, because according to your vision I should be cleaning, serving, and sitting quietly, which I certainly have no intention of doing."
This statement is a contradiction in itself. I stopped believing because I don't like what is commanded in the Bible (I mean what you wrote isn't there, I'm just showing your thinking). You can disbelieve in miracles, in resurrection, in historicity, but you can't say something like "I became an atheist because I didn't like the commandment". This is not atheism but satanism, an attitude of hostility towards the almighty God Yahweh, rebellion against him. This is why the quote I already quoted fits perfectly here.
So from what I understand the husband cannot be changed. And the wife has to adjust to him? And what does it mean to adapt to him? Isn't a wife also a human being with a specific character and inborn or acquired features that cannot be changed? A husband cannot be changed, but a wife can? And it is not at all putting her in the position of a person deprived even of her individual traits, because she can get rid of them for the comfort of her husband and that is fine. To maintain his well-being. And this does not mean that her position in the relationship is inferior? ?
Hello, I don't understand why a wife should necessarily have pure thoughts. Then she would have to feel guilty having sexual fantasies with her husband in her mind, she would also be afraid to communicate them, let alone carry them out. So I wonder if the advice you have given about the purity of the wife's thoughts is impractical and even harmful, what do you think?